The pen is mightier than the sword.

It may sound utterly strange – considering that those words come from me – Miss Independent – but the world without men would be simply incomplete, if not boring. Only recently, one of them has inspired me to write again – my illusive male version of a Muse (I am trying very hard NOT to picture him as one of the greatest works of Michelangelo, because I guess that’s how my Muses should look like 🙂 ) while many others keep on providing me – almost on a daily basis – with the food for thought, unintentionally stimulating my imagination. And I am profoundly grateful to all contributors for feeding my mind, even though their input is NOT always positive and they might have wished I would never use it.

I have always believed that traveling is one of the greatest inspirations – and not only to artist or writers. That’s why, I have no idea how people can resign themselves to a vegetative state in the confinements of their own homes, killing their passion and their zest for life. Which is why, I think the only way to effectively stop me from writing creatively, would be, if I were jailed. On the second thought, one of my favorite writers, Jeffrey Archer, found an inspiration even in his own incarceration, allowing himself to criticize British Penitentiary system when he was sentenced for 4 years for perjury. It resulted in a brilliant book: A Prison Diary fashioned after Dante’s Divine Comedy. I guess, only a writer can find an element of humor in a dark side of life.

So during my recent trip to Tarrytown, NY – I had a chance not only to appreciate the art, history and architecture of all those magnificent, old mansions lined up on the hills – along the town – overlooking Hudson River, but most of all the beautiful state of Singlehood, which shed some light on how both genders perceive those who abstain from relationships.

As we set off with Maria on our tour of Rockefeller Estate in Sleepy Hallow with a group of visitors led by Peter, an older, but utterly charming guide with an amazing narrative talent, I made extra sure that I stayed at the end of the group. Being handicapped and moving on crutched slowed me down, and I didn’t want my disability to affect the group. But, as I walked inside the building and then through the hallway to the library, I have noticed that one man made extra sure to let me in first, holding each door for me and smiling back at me. I wouldn’t give it much thought, especially that I have already gotten accustomed to New Yorkers’ rudeness towards cripples like me, but an aggressive reaction of his wife to his act of kindness put all my senses on high alert. Out of nowhere, despite my vulnerability and a vivid in my opinion unattractiveness, I represented a potential threat to someone else’s relationship. And suddenly one woman’s insecurity pointed out at a sudden shift in power to her own disadvantage – something that all female fear for and are well aware off – men are not interested in strong women! They favor those whom they can take care off 🙂 And here I come with my deceiving looks all wrapped up in cuteness:

I am Vulnerable! – I am Single! – I am Dangerous!

So what makes us, women act so stupid? Insecurity? Weakness of character? Fear? Deception? But, if we cannot trust a man who shows an act of kindness towards another woman, which theoretically should NOT constitute a threat, since in a healthy society his behavior should be viewed as a virtue of a gentleman, then why staying together? Do we even know what we expect of each other any more, if the concept of a virtue has a different meaning depending on, who defines it? Is there any chance out there for a healthy relationship based on strong bonds, mutual understanding and respect?

Since being Happily Single attracts as much fathers as their sons, for the sake of an argument, lets now analyze the second group that will build the ground for future relationships and marriages. What any man in his late 20’s or early 30’s may find attractive in someone my age is beyond comprehension. I can understand that nowadays the expectations of the young generation have dramatically changed – together with their values. They all want to succeed, they all want money and they all want it easy. Since it is much harder for young men to reach their dreams, they are left alone without suitable girls their age, who in the meantime take advantage of their own “assets” offering them in exchange for their version of their dream – to the older guys, who already have it “all.” Consequently, abandoned younger men with an excess of testosterone levels, have to do some outsourcing in the higher age range where Happily Single Cougars have much more fun in life, are definitely much more interesting, more experienced and care much less about money. Obviously, it is not a permanent arrangement – after all, Happily Ever After, was never meant for Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher 🙂  But, it works for some time until young men finally achieve success and turn to girls their age who finally came back to their senses, which is as soon as they figure out that an old fart may have money, but he lacks necessary “stamina” and youth to maintain population growth 🙂 But aside from those vivid abnormalities, what would my daughter’s friends – graduating from High School – see in women my age, is beyond disturbing. Which would explain why “crib robber” was just another adjective I have been labeled with, not that I got out of my way to earn it. But, if we look down the road at the future relationships, they do not give much hope for sustainability of any relationships 🙂 They will be built on false premises …

If there is any consolation to those of my female friends who read this article with a growing fear for the “safety” of their immature partners, let me reassure you that regardless of many labels I have earned over the years, I have a very strong moral spine and a deep sense of decency – if it means anything – and it would never cross my mind to become even vaguely interested in any of those “characters.” Philosophically speaking, it is like puncturing a gigantic balloon filled up with an enormous amount of testosterone to be left disillusioned with absolutely nothing, but a broken condom. I will spare myself that pleasure and resort to the joy of making my own observations at your expense in order to keep on fiddling with words for a mutual entertainment.

Now it is time for a reality check.

When we have met with Maria and Saily for dinner at one of those fancy restaurants in Tarrytown called Bistro Z, and we were seated at the table, I decided to limp my way down the hall in search of Ladies Room. As I walked to the end of the hallway I bumped into a Bride who looked very “upset” to say the least. As a matter of fact, she looked exactly like a butcher ready to shed some blood.

  • I hope you are not planning on running away from your own wedding? – I joked
  • Well, at this point, I think that’s exactly what I should do – said vividly pissed off woman

I didn’t try to keep up a conversation and I walked away thinking that I already had enough excitement for one day especially that an encounter between an angry Bride and a missing Groom usually means trouble 🙂

The following morning we woke up late and after checking out from the hotel we decided to wait outside for the Taxi. The views of the park showered in the morning light were magnificent, the colors of leafs were still striking considering it was November 13th and we were embracing warm weather together with quiet surroundings. Until more people, who attended another wedding, walked out of the hotel. Among them was Miss Piggy in flip-flops with her partner in contrasting body shape, who suggested that he would bring the car so she didn’t have to walk. I thought it was really thoughtful of him. While he disappeared, Miss Piggy went back inside the hotel and resurfaced upon her partner’s arrival. The moment she took a seat inside the car, the hell broke open. It was a gorgeous Sunday morning and I felt suddenly violated mentally, forced to listen to a stream of invectives coming from the open windows. Another wedding, another dysfunctional relationship, another example of a complete luck of understanding and mutual respect.

And I am the one who is being constantly accused of faking happiness?

  • You know what? – I said, as I turned to Maria – I am so glad I spent this weekend with you. When you look at all those people, it really makes you appreciate the Happily Single State where you do not have to take any abuse from anyone and you can maintain your freedom, integrity and self-respect.

I am Single! – I am Dangerous! – I am Powerful!

But, don’t think for one second, I do not enjoy it 🙂

 Alicja aka. Carrie Bradshaw  🙂



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